According to MySpace, my blog has been viewed 337 times this week. In fact, for the past several weeks, the number of hits has always been in the triple digits. Which means one of the following:
1. Several people read my blog regularly, or at least a small number of them read it repeatedly
2. MySpace has its shit fucked up
3. I have a stalker
4. Someone is trying to break into my account
To which I say:
1. Why, thank you! Hope you enjoy
2. I'm hardly surprised
3. Who are you?
4. Whoever you are, I have a hammer
Last year was the first year I went out and actually bought real live Christmas presents for everyone, wrapped them all up, and sat in line behind several retarded people for a good hour at the post office to mail them. This year, everyone's gettin' cards.
Don't you hate it when you grab a newly washed glass off the dish rack, pour yourself a delicious beverage, and taste the tell-tale turgid tinge of dish soap in your drink?
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