Disneyland Diaries

My trip to DLand with Marie and Ashley was a blast. Let me share with you now some highlights and lowlights, mixed together like a magical cocktail for you below:

• Since I'm usually crazily early to the airport out of my own anxious paranoia, I decided to give myself a more casual two-hour buffer before heading out to the airport--and as a result, got there just forty-five minutes before my flight, just enough time to check my baggage
• One of the security personnel at the airport was wearing a turban. I fought the urge to take a picture
• My TV on my Virgin American flight didn't have most channels. Which bit.
• Our hotel was barely a two-minute walk to both the Disneyland- and California Adventure parks
• Soarin' Over California was breathtaking, and included both views of my hometown of San Diego and the Golden Gate Bridge. And the moment you've included San Francisco in something, you've got me
• If I never see another stroller again, it won't be too soon
• By the third day there, I'd become sick of the chubby soccer moms pointing out the obvious to their children, so I just randomly began imitating them by saying, "Katelynn! Katelynn! Katelynn! Look at the jack-o-lanterns, Katelynn! Katelynn! Katelynn!"
• I've never ingested so much expensive and unhealthy food in my life. I'm weeks behind at the gym
• The Twilight Zone of Terror rocked, similar to, but better than Freefall at Magic Mountain
• Get your hand stamped when you go from one park to the other. Although they have a computerized bar code system with their tickets, you still have to do shit the old fashioned way
• I got to take a picture next to a bust of Maleficient, my hero, and favorite Disney character
• Lilo, from "Lilo and Stitch", got all up in my grill at the restaurant in our hotel when I was texting one morning at breakfast. Fuckin' puppet almost got a fork in her eye
• Fast passes are an awesome concept--when they're available
• We got to go on Thunder Mountain--which I called the Rocky Horror Picture Show Mountain Ride because I thought it was called the Rocky Mountain--multiple times because the line was so short
• My sister Marie, cosmetology princess and hair maven, had to sit in the front row on Splash Mountain, and the massively irked look on her face when the picture was taken at the drop was rich
• My eleven-year-old niece Ashley loves to go on the fast roller coasters and thinks the slow rides of Fantasyland are for the birds
• I got to spend time with two of my favorite people in the world

As always, whenever I go out of town, I'm always thrilled to get home to my city by the bay. I'm still not completely caught up on sleep, but at least it'll be a shorter week, and then it's one holiday vacation after the next. Horr-fuckin'-ray!

All you do is talk, talk

I am more of a texter than a talker, so if you're going to call me and expect me to entertain you, think again. You have to at least lead off with something interesting. And I'll most likely be entertaining anyways since I'm a scintillating conversationalist, but if you're going to make me stop whatever I'm doing, mute "Judge Judy", pause the "Viva La Bam" DVD, and set my cocktail down, ya gotta give me somethin' to start off with.

Talk about yourself. Everyone loves to. And I love to listen to people talk about themselves--within reason--because I'm such a nosey person. I poke and pry, and ask follow up questions that veer on dreadfully personal.

But you gotta at least give it that old college try, lead off with an intro, make a start, form an objective, and make it seem like you gave it a little bit of thought before you decided to call my ass.

All my single babies

I find young people annoying and old people depressing. I wonder if that means that when I'm older, I'll find all people annoying.

I've been in a dreadful sleep pattern as of late. I get to bed around 1:00 if I'm lucky, 2:00 usually. Then I awaken some time between 4:00 - 6:00, and my mind is wide awake. Then around 8:00 when I'm supposed to wake up, I can actually feel my brain secreting whatever enzyme it is that puts you to sleep. Just dreadful.

I broke out my suitcase from the closet this week as a reminder that DISNEYLAND is but 8 days away. I'm going to go on Splash Mountain 200 times. You guys.

My very mature, well-meaning, and thoughtful email to the bastard who broke my heart

Hey Gideon,
Don't be afraid. I know it's probably pretty frightful to get an email from me, but I got your text last night. I’m guessing you sent it out of some sense of obligation or maybe remorse, but I want you to know it’s okay. I think it’s just best if we made a clean break.

I wish that we could have kept things platonic instead of letting them progress to a romantic level. If you had any uncertainty about where we were headed, I wish you would have made that clearer earlier on. I admit, I may have been misreading signals or being too earnest. I’m not sure what you thought was happening between us, and I’m not sure I want to know since it’s a moot point anyways, but I still appreciate you giving me an honest “no” instead of a conciliatory “yes”.

I’m bummed because I wish we could’ve remained friends, but I think you understand why that would be too difficult. Take care of yourself, and try to look on the bright side of things once in awhile!

Josh

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What do people actually do when someone objects at a wedding?

I wish I could own every new album that is released.

Gideon texted me last night. At least, I think it was him, since I deleted his number. It was from his area code at least. Naturally, I didn't respond. He just said, "Hey, how ya doin", no doubt out of some vague sense of remorse. I'm nearly tempted to actually retain a friendship with him and dick him around much like he dicked me around. You know, like plan to meet up at some bar in the Castro one night, but not go. Then text him a half hour later and say, "Hey! I'm here!", but actually be at another bar. Then he'll come to the other bar seven blocks away, and I'll be like, "I'm out on the balcony! Where are you??". Then I'll say I went outside to look for him, ran into a friend, and segued to another place, and send him on the run after me again. God, that would be sweet.