We out

I almost don't want to write this entry because I don't want to believe my beloved vacation is nearly over. On the other hand, I am absolutely ready for 2016 to be over.

Besides the string of unexpected celebrity deaths and the galling election of Emperor Drumpf to the highest position in the world, two wonderful things occurred this year.

The first was the marriage of VPA, my best friend, who married the best man for him. I was telling someone else who had been at the wedding a few months later that my version of heaven would be to relive that weekend on repeat, seeing the two of them get hitched and seeing all sorts of people I knew and loved and hadn't seen in ages. It was a wonderful time, and one of my co-workers even mentioned how refreshed I looked when I returned to work.

And speaking of work, I got promoted. It was a long haul to get there, but it finally came through. I just re-ran my retirement estimator, and it's saying that I'm on track, whereas before it said I needed to put a little extra money away. That's pretty good news. And the saga with the credit cards continues, but I will just keep chipping away at it and try to watch my expenses.

I returned from Vegas on Monday, and would count it as a fun visit, but not as memorable as last year's when both my little sister and my other cousin who I hadn't seen in forever were present. My grandma is also starting to fade. This was not helped by the fact that a friend of hers died while I was there. Still, I hit up the Strip with my aunt, won big, lost big, and made my way back home to my Frisco Disco and Zammers.

I'm taking Raina out for her birthday dinner on Monday, which will coincidentally also be the last day of my vacation I drink. I have Tuesday off which will be spent cleaning, possibly shopping for some new work clothes, hopefully going to the gym, and definitely detoxing. I am sort of awestruck that I will turn forty next year. I suppose it will be similar to when I turned thirty, and woke up that morning thinking, Really? I'm thinking I'll perhaps bring my mom, sister, and nephew up to SF, which will cost me, but, well, anything I do will cost me. And I should probably celebrate this big one in some sort of recognizable way, no? I just can't believe the next big one after that will be fifty. I mean, seriously?

Tomorrow, then we out, saan

I'm still trying to get it right in my head--just one more day of work, then I'm done for two and a half whole weeks. I keep feeling like I'm forgetting something or I've lost something because the reality of it is just too unreal to fathom.

Today was our godawful holiday party, now called the painfully politically correct "end of the year" party (or "end of the world" party, as I dubbed it). I had tried to avoid it by scheduling a 2:00 meeting earlier in the week, but my manager warned that my VP wanted me to be there now that I'm a member of leadership. I showed up in the middle of the stupid white elephant game with the usual people saying, "Wow, look who's here!" and "Didn't expect to see you here! You never come to these things!" I don't think I was there for more than an hour before it was back to the office to wrap things up.

I killed off as much work as I could, delegated a few things to my one superstar analysts, and notified some managers there would be a delay on some items. Made it to the BevMo and got in at least a moderate round of exercise at the gym before closing.

Tomorrow I have to be at HQ for a brainstorming session, so it'll be a cinch, and not a full day. I'm thrilled to pieces, and so ready for these next sweet seventeen days.

After a mild panic attack over the rampant sudden use of my new credit card, I went back to my budget numbers and realized I could still pay it off in a few months. I could even consider dedicating a larger pay off to a different card each month instead of spreading the payments evenly, just to make myself feel like there was more of a dent being made. I still need to keep costs under control--I know. And I should really apply that in 2017.

But in the meantime, I've spared myself $300 to gamble away in Vegas in the hopes I get lucky, which I won't, but hell, it's my fucking Christmas present to myself.

Siete

Seven days.

Just seven days to get through before Winter Break. Seven business days, to be precise. You can't imagine how happy I am to get that lovely streak of free time off.

This shall include the Christmas trip to Vegas to visit at least some of the family. Apparently, some of them want to do their own thing, which irked me at first, but then, after I thought about it, may make for a pleasant change. A smaller group of them to deal with will ensure things are a little quieter, and perhaps allow extra time with Petula. I mean, how many Christmases with her do we have left?

Speaking of major life changes, my dear co-worker Bertha announced she will be retiring in February. Sad to see her go, of course, but just another shift in the every-changing family.

I had gotten sick of all of my casual clothes, so did up Nordstrom's the Monday after Thanksgiving. Just need some new shoes, and will feel like a whole new me. I have steadfastly avoided the skinny jeans thing, but the tide is against me. And I feel like I look like a clown in tennis shoes, but I've lost that battle, too. So an updated look is in order. Then we need to move on to work clothes, but one step at a time.

One thing that will assist in these couture shifts is the new credit card I got--one I did not apply for, but that was converted from an account for medical procedures into a Mastercard with several thousand dollars on it. Being in my current situation, I certainly know better than to go buck wild, but it helps to know I have a back up source of credit in case the poo hits the fan.

Over ever-growing concern about my girth, I went back to avoiding foods packed with refined sugar. And lo, I started to feel much calmer and even-keeled--something that helps in my new leadership position--and have even started to see my waistline shrink every so slightly.

Yeah, it really does help after all, and once you get accustomed to it, it's not so bad.

I can see clearly now the pain has gone

I noticed it about two weeks ago: the sky seemed brighter and the outline of people and things seemed clearer. That's how I know the winter is about to begin.

I had a major snafu that could have resulted in massive overpayments yesterday when I submitted the final file for our company bonus. Luckily my boss caught it, but not before it caused my blood to run cold. The kicker is that yesterday was supposed to be a day off for me. And right after I'd cleaned the apartment and was ready to hunker down and cocktail and YouTube, I got the text from her about the error.

Luckily, it was corrected in time, and I threw myself on the mercy of the court of my boss's eternal criticism, and all seems to be fine.

And that's the last major project of the year for me. I mean, I have a couple more that are pretty large scale, but nothing unwieldy. I so look forward to this time of year when I have plenty of paid holidays and time off of work. And then it will be to Vegas come Christmastime, this time, though, perhaps without the whole family as everyone seems to be doing their own thing this year. No probs on my end. Seeing Petula and just a select few will work just fine.

I turn fucking thirty nine tomorrow. Thirty-fucking-nine! And in keeping with tradition, am not doing anything to celebrate it. Hannah has been trying to work out a taco party night with me to celebrate, but we've had to cancel two proposed dates already. What kind of sucks about all this is that by next year, I really should have something a little more celebratory planned. A trip to NYC or Disneyworld with the boys or the fam? I'd broached the idea of Universal Studios with Reina, and she seemed down with that. Might I possibly have a boyfriend by then who would plan something lovely for me.

Ha!

More than anything, I am hoping that next year will show some progress on the erosion of my credit card debt. Part of that involves hunkering down and taking the bus again instead of Uber ever effing day. This is my new cross to bear, and I gots get through it.

At last my promotion has come along

Yes, it's true.

I wish I could be a bit more elated about it, but the fact that I need it so desperately to thwart my credit card debt kind of puts a bit of a damper on the festivities.

So yes, I'm a supervisor now. Something that I had hoped to put off at least until the tail end of my career since management seems more of a pain than it's worth. And although my boss is a whirling cyclone of negativity, I've just learned to roll with the punches and say "yes, ma'am" when another absurd amount of work comes my way. Luckily, I have a great team, which makes it all a lot easier. And just one of them is the bratty teenager of the bunch who is my pet project to develop and deputize as the new and improved version of me.

I realize, not without a trace of irony, that part of this raise helps to subsidize my Uber addiction, which I primarily take to and from work.

But most importantly, it will help me do battle with the Unlucky Seven™, the name I have dubbed my credit cards. How I put myself in this position after spending a good three years to pay down my previous debt--putting off buying a new bed even as my old one was falling apart, always feeling guilty when I took a cab instead of the bus, carefully counting down how much I could afford on groceries--is galling. I'm especially pissed that I borrowed against my retirement monies to pay some of it down. I have my heart set on retiring at fifty seven, and boy will I be pissed if that day comes around, and I still can't because I didn't have enough in my 401(k).

Fucking lesson learned.

In much more optimistic news, we are coming to the end of the year, and that means Christmas will be here soon. I've booked my flight to Vegas (with points!), and am looking forward to seeing the fam, and especially my aunt's precious dog Cuddles. I've got to work on our annual bonus program next week, which is the last major project of the year for me, and then can coast through the next couple of months with lovely paid holidays.

VPA and Maybelline are to come into town in January, so I'm thinking some Beach Blanket Babylon is in order.

I also had dinner at the Osha with Cara, the sister of VPA's friend Fabiola, last Friday. She's at Berkeley now, and basically a real life America Ferrera. I anticipate many fun times exploring the City with her. We had planned to do the Folsom Street Fair today, but I could just tell when I awoke this morning that it would not be happening, in no small part due to the fact that I only went to the gym once last week, so have a deficient endorphin count which is making me feel like I'm part zombie. Gross.

Hanna moved to the Marina--I know not why--so we're planning a dinner date on Friday along with a tour of her new place. I'm still trying to keep up this doing one fun thing a month jam going, but it's hard considering I don't exactly have swaths of friends to do shit with.

I have upped my weights at the gym, and am rather liking the results. My trainer had emphasized using the weights slowly, which is like effing torture to me. So I just prefer to add more on, and go at my usual "let's get this shit over with" speed. I'll just keep pacing myself and increasing the weights gradually until I have the bulging pecs and 'ceps I've always dreamed of, I suppose, centered 'round my barrel of stomach.

A change is finna come

Grueling.

That's how I would describe the leadership class I had to take on Thursday for my new promotion. When my boss mentioned to my two counterparts at the end of our staff meeting that she had to talk to them about something (the something being that I was being promoted, and they weren't), I knew the deed had finally been done. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting and endless battling with my VP, even to the point where I asked her about it and she broke into tears because it was taking so long, my boss finally secured my promotion. I still have to apply for the damn thing, but this hovering in the greys crap is finally coming to an end, and we can see the sunlight peering through.

And it couldn't happen soon enough.

I'm looking through all of my credit cards to see which one has a sufficient enough balance to use this week, and I had to break out the emergency one I keep at home. My increase is on the lower end, but when I factor in the merit increase I just received, it's not at all bad. I'll also have paid off my Sleep Train balance after next month, and by the end of the year, my Care Credit one, so that will total a little over three hundred extra bucks a month.

So now I have to channel li'l ol me circa 2010-ish when I put my nose to the grind and paid off my credit cards before. We gotta stop the madness over here. This is the last big windfall I'll have for several years, I reckon. If the pooh hits the fan and I have to move out or my grandma dies and I have to catch a quick flight to Las Vegas where she lives to say goodbye, I need to have the moolah to do so.

This has become my life. Ugh.

Kiss from a rose off which the bloom has fallen

The high I had after I'd gotten back from the wedding has pretty much faded away, a happy memory now tucked away. VPA sent a lovely card with he and Maybellne in their wedding gear on the cover sharing some love and saying, "Even though we don't talk as much anymore, you are still my best friend, and when we see each other, it's like time has stood still." Very sweet.

I have the sensation of hovering between something that feels like that nauseous dreamstate you are in when you're sick and you've swallowed several spoonfuls on Bennadryl. I just looked at my last entry and see it's now been two and a half months since my boss talked to me about my promotion, and it still hasn't happened. I'd hoped it would come through before she left on her two week vacation, but nay. The last I heard, she said our VP had told her she'd "worn him down," and he'd agree to it--but only after I did one of our stupid Talent Plus interviews which measures your strengths in particular areas of personality.

In fairness, it makes sense to run one of these on a member of leadership, but time's atickin' and my bills are abuildin'. I hate that my life has become so focused on becoming debt free again, but that's where I am. And when and if this promo comes through, this will probably be the last big windfall I'll have for awhile. My boss has about six or seven more years until she retires, and I'm not even sure I want her job. So if I score myself a big increase, I really want to use it to pay down debt and not incurr a whole lot more.

Easier said than done when you have an addiction to La Mer and Perricone products like a motha.

Speaking of mothas, I'd hope to take mine to Europe for her sixtieth birthday, but as things are currently shaping up, I don't even know if that will be feasible. But if it doesn't, her sixty first will be just fine. Provided ISIS hasn't nuked the continent, Europe will still be there, I suppose.

I am at least doing my best to do at least one fun thing a month. This month I got two in: going to the Marengo on the Alley for L-Ha's birthday and doing liquid brunchies with Tifferbee at Maven last weekend. Since I apparently no longer go clubbing--and I cringe using the word as a thirty eight year old--a fun time out here or there with friends is a must.

Soldiering on, partner.

Reach for the stars...then reach for the snooze button

The wedding was a hit, and I had a blast.

I packed up Shazaam and dropped him off at the Wag Hotel, then, in a first, started packing up my clothes the night before since I knew I'd be awaking at the crack of dawn to BART to the airport. In trademark fashion, I forgot one critical item: my under eye cream. This was so not cool as we drank to abandon the night before the wedding, and I did have to take pictures as a member of the wedding party.

In any event, the airplane ride there went well with an Amy Schumer comedy special and a few other movies to tide me over. The dude next to me, who was relatively hot, had long legs and was a bit cozied up next to me, but I was practically thrilled to have the male physical contact. I did have to use the bathroom at one point, which was like being in the seventh circle of hell for a few minutes.

I arrived in DC, and cabbed it to the hotel. When I got out, I saw someone holding a bag with an animated Michelle Obama on a trapeze a la "Moulin Rouge," and thought, That's freaking hysterical. I looked up, and it was none other than VPA. We hugged and he said, "We're running behind," which was something of a relief, as I thought I'd barely make it in time for the rehearsal.

VPA's groomesmaids were Pejorative of the End Up, Fabiola of UC Berkeley, and Gretchen, his cousin. After the rehearsal, which was basically just us parterning up with another member of the wedding party and walking down the aisle to our seats, we had dinner and dranks in the President's Lounge at the top of the hotel. Our table, consisting of Pejorative and his man, Fabiola and her adorable America Farrera-like sister, and myself, was unquestionably the most raucous and fun, and we had a delightful evening, peppered with a few visits from Aunt Beatrice, VPA's Aunt from SD who had bonded with tequila that night and through the next.

Sometime before midnight and after I'd slammed back several cosmos, none other than Cora arrived. I gasped as I hadn't seen her in some five years, and went up to give her a hug. Whatevs. Let bygones be bygones.

The next morning, I met up with Aaron, and we had breakfast and trekked around the area for awhile before decompressing back at the hotel. My suit looked pretty damn good on me--and, perhaps more importantly, still fit. And it was off next door to the venue. I met up with Fabiola and her hysterical husband Darnell, and soon, the ceremony was underway. It is a rare thing to see VPA get emotional, but he did as soon as he and Maybelline started down the aisle and everyone stood for them, as well as during his vows.

Then it was the afterparty with booze flowing and hijinks ahappenin'. Not once did I even worry about possibly spotting Sean and Darryl, and to the best of my knowledge, they weren't there. After a few choice quotes from Fabi that immediately went onto FB, I finally tuckered out, and went back to my room.

The next morning, several of us went over to VPA's and Maybelline's to shoot the shiz and hang out, and giving myself my usual three-hour cushion when traveling, I eventually headed back to the hotel around 2:00, giving big hugs all around and genuinely regretting that I had to go.

The plane trip back was less whimsical, delayed by thirty minutes at the airport and seemingly several more once en route due to the damn weather. I was so depleted by the time I got back and picked up my luggage and discombobulated by the time change, I gave up bothering with BART and forked over for the fifty plus dollar cab ride home. Then I Uber'd over to pick up Shazaam, and tucked in for a full night's sleep.

I don't think I could have orchestrated a better time if I had the power to plan it all out myself. One of my co-workers mentioned how I seemed to "look good for a Monday" the day I got back, and I've no doubt that it was due in part to the great time with great people. I really wish I had another vacation in the works. If my promotion goes through and the cash flow increases, it's a possibility, but we'll have to see.

*bud ump Drumpf*

I hightail it out of town to DC on Friday for VPA's and Maybelline's wedding. I'm of course jazzed to see my best amigo marry his sweetheart, but know of at least one person going who will put a mild damper on the event: my old roommate, Cora, whom I basically severed ties with after asking her and her boyfriend to move out some five years ago. I haven't really spoken to her since, but she FB'd me yesterday asking if I'd already booked my room, and I was like, "Yup. See you there!" I should probably take a cue from the Real Housewives of Whatever, and just let bygones be bygones. And I'm sure I will. I was just hoping it would be all or mostly people I'm looking forward to seeing.

That also brings us to the couple so not-of-the-hour, Sean (my ex) and Darryl. A part of me sincerely hopes that can't scrounge up the cash to both make the trip and book the hotel, but who knows.

I do know that Aaron will be there, and his flight home doesn't leave until late on Sunday, so we have pledged to go day-drinking together. After all the sister side stank-eye I'm going to be giving at the wedding, Lawt knows I'll need a liquid respite. If nothing else, I'm just happy to have a little break in my normal routine, a bit pricey though it is.

And speaking of prices, mine might just go up! My boss spoke to me for a second time about promoting me to a supervisor position. The first time, I declined because I just didn't feel I had the bandwidth. But last week when she asked me again, and after I had realized I was pretty much already doing the job, I was all in. She has to review it with my VP, and we didn't talk money, but I'm hoping for something that will silence the credit card lambs a bit. I just can't bear to be without my La Mer and Uber.