You win some, you're screwed some

My VP informed me today that he'd made a decision to hire a manager. If all works out as planned, it will be the senior analyst on our team, who we all like plenty, and who would be a delight to have in the role. I guess I'm just not visionary enough. Nor am I as experienced as he seems to want. He's claimed he'll keep me in my supervisor role and will not lay off anyone on the team if she decides she doesn't want to do the job, and I'm hoping he'll stick to his word.

I'm starting to dread the one-on-ones with him as I almost feel like he delights in the sharing of unpleasant news. I mean, it's not the end of the world, and he painted it as an opportunity for me to continue to develop under someone with more direct expertise in the field. Fine. But it's also not the most encouraging sign either.

I just keep thinking, I've been there seventeen years, and I have seventeen years to go before I retire. Well, nearly sixteen. So I'm just past the halfway point, and I know that things will keep speeding forward since that's the way life has been for the past several years now. It literally could be so much worse. I just need to keep my chin up and keep plugging away.

For example, there are just twelve more days of work left before my delightful Christmas Break. That's something to look forward to, even if it does just involve a trip to SD. I love the smell of the hotel I'm staying in. They have their own custom soap, and it's so soothing. In addition to the time with family and friends, am looking forward to some exploring time on my own checking out my old haunts.

Shake it off or drink it off?

I was a good boy this past week... Worked out thrice, cleaned and smudged the apartment, ironed my clothes for the week, though I did regrettably miss church for the second week in a row. Was just too busted up. I'm not quite sure what will shake this feeling like there is some impending doom coming my way except to just wait it out. If my friend Heather, who was a manager in my department, hadn't been axed last year, I might feel a little more secure, but it's just enough to have me feeling like I'm on shaky ground.

We're in the lovely part of the year where it's lots of holidays, cold weather, and plenty of time off. This is a three-day week, and I'm taking off Monday for good measure. I plan to take my staff to Osha for a staff appreciation lunch in December. And it'll be off to SD in a month's time. Just sixteen days of work to get through.

Post-vacay boo hey hey

I hate the post-vacation blues, even if the vacation itself wasn't anything spectacular. But my two-day stay at Universal Studios was at least a respite from the norm and a chance to get away, and now it's a full week away.

I should be in better spirits as we just submitted the final payroll file for the annual bonus, so we're pretty much in the clear. Just a few post payment issues to contend with, lot of catching up to do, and then I should be able to coast through these last two months of the year. But between the stress and what feels like a wave of unpleasantness from my clients, I ain't feelin' it.

Not helping are the new multivitamins and dietary supplement. On the one hand, they have me full of energy. On the other, I can't seem to fucking get any REM sleep. It's either that or the lack of sleep during my vacation, exacerbated by the heat, has me out of whack. I didn't have the mental energy for church group on Wednesday nor the gym today.

So I'm writing this to simply consciously tell my mind that everything's pretty hunky dory. I have about three grand coming my way next week for my part of the bonus, and a lot to be proud of in the accomplishment of getting it paid. I will eventually catch up on work. And the trip to SD for Christmas, hosted by my little sis Marie, is but a month and a half away. Not to mention reunions with some old high school chums, one of whom I haven't seen in over ten years.

Do ya buy that, brain?