Goat herders.... Really?

To all the straight people in the world: God loves you, He really does. But sometimes you bug the fuck out of me.

Tonight was meant to be a fun night, and 96% of it was. I met up with old HR alumni Tammy and Frida, and we had a grand old time drinking away, discussing Frida's new baby, dishing about former co-workers, and revealing heretofore unknown gossip. But as Tammy continued to drink away, she got it in her head to call some gay boy friend of hers and invite him to the bar. Prior to this, we had all given a summary of our love lives (Frida: Happily married. Tammy: Between two boys. Myself: Gave it a shot last year, laying low for now). She kept texting and calling him urging him to come. Then she told him that her friend Frida and a gay boy were with her.

"Let me jump in the shower," he texted back.

I was so not in the mood nor feeling cute enough to meet some random gay dude who considered this a potential romantic situation. To make matters further grosser, Tammy told me that the guy was a fundraiser for the Republican party. Yes, he helped get Arnie into office. This was enough on a fundamental level for me to realize that this was not someone with whom I wanted to be intimate. I mean, my boss and her partner are Republican, and I love them beyond belief. We can amiably spar about our political differences in a fun-spirited way, but I cannot bed down with someone who not only believes in but helps fund a political party that, at its core, believes gay people should be shipped off to an island and blown up.

There is a tendency in some people to try to match make. But when that is taken to action with gay guys, it's like you know one gay guy from work and one gay guy from whatever, so surely they must want to know each other and fuck and marry and adopt little African children and live happily ever after! Because they're both gay, right!

Gay people still go through the same courting process as straight people. There's still the complexity and the rough road to getting to really know one another. I know that in the gay community, sexual mores are a bit more relaxed. But that is not universal. And it is certainly not the case with my ass.

So despite my repeatedly trying to tell Tammy that it wasn't worth inviting this guy, he gets all pampered up, we're there forever, and he finally shows up as Frida and I are ready to leave. I kind of felt like a jerk, but I didn't set up the situation to begin with. And the whole Republican fundraiser thing did not exactly get my dick hard.

So we departed, although Tammy and Frida both tried to convince me to stay, and Tammy even said in my ear as I was getting my coat, "You're coming back, right?" and I had to say no.

Kinda don't like when happy hours end on an indecorous note.