Girl smack talk

Girl insults are a riot because they attempt to incorporate an element of reverse psychology in their every effort. Whereas guys will be straight up derisive, use foul language, and consign vicious names upon their target ("Faggot!", "Bitch!", "Asshole!"), girls are a bit more indirect with what I feel is a much less effective, yet altogether hysterical, outcome.

Let's review, shall we?

1. "Oh really? Really? Really?"
This is the classic set up line before a girl delivers the blow. It's meant to be a sort of Are-you-ready-for-this-because-I'm-about-to-deal-a-most-deadly-blow? line, but it is actually just a rhetorical expression of little value.

2. "Maybe you just feel bad about yourself/insecure about your own relationship/etc."
What better way to attack someone than to infer that their attack is actually an attack on themselves. Because...wait...What?

3. *complete silence*
I was once at a party where my roommate and a friend were talking about music to put on their radio show, and another chick, who was actually a staff person at the radio show but who my roommate and her friend didn't care for, made a suggestion on what to play. My roommate and her friend completely carried on their conversation as if she hadn't said a word, and it was like a glacier wall of silence had been dumped on the radio chick. I actually give this tactic props because when you ignore someone who's speaking to you, it makes them look like they are talking to themselves and are therefore insane. Choice!

4. "Sweetie..."
When a girl starts off a statement with that sarcastic "Sweetie" or "Honey" like they're some sort of New York drag queen, you know the rest of the statement ain't gonna come out nice. It's almost endearing to hear a girl talk this way because I would normally expect that kind of language from...well, a New York drag queen.

5. "If that's how you feel, then I feel sorry for you."
The number one, absolute BEST girl insult is not a bad word, not a personal insult, but the complete 180 queen of responses, which is to say that you don't hate the person, but that they clearly hate themselves, otherwise they wouldn't be so nasty. A recent and enjoyable example of this insult was on the season of "The Real World: Sydney" where the pretty, white Christian chick was attacking the only ethnic person on the show name Parisa, and she used this very same insult. J. Co and I busted up laughing, and it became a house catch phrase for many, many months.

Personally, I think that calling someone a sad, stupid sack of dog shit is a mighty effective way of hurting their feelings, but that's just me, yg.