I just want clean lines and surfaces, darling!

The subject of this post is a reference to an old "Absolutely Fabulous" episode where the chaotic Edina Monsoon hurls into a mad rush to rearrange her apartment in anticipation of the arrival of some old friends who were the epitome of minimalist. When they arrive, they come bearing a newborn, and all the clatter--physical, emotional, and mental--that comes with a baby.

Well, this month marks two important downsizing initiatives--one temporary, one not so much.

The first is Cocktail-free February™. I have been excited about it this whole week, and got a head start on my movie watching, having taken in the sad tale of ex-gay Michael Glatze in "I Am Michael," and the semi-surreal coming-of-age story, "Closet Monster." Plus I bought Resident Evil 7, and have been playing it sporadically (I have to stop every so often because it scares me shitless).

I am looking forward to not vomiting Monday mornings (and Tuesdays sometimes, too), not waking up to pee five times a night, not being awoken at 5:00 am by mysterious, stabbing hunger pains, not feeling perpetually tired, not getting cranky, losing fat, gaining energy, not having burst blood vessels on my face when I go into work Monday mornings from vomiting so harshly, not feeling gross, and saving a little money.

Who knows. If it's a success, we may consider entertaining it more often.

The second more long-lasting change has to do with my debt. Of the many offers I get in the mail to take up a loan to pay off my credit cards, I finally looked into one that could give me actual numbers without me officially applying for it. Given the choice to keep paying the minimum on most of my cards for two decades or get a loan now to pay them off now that could be paid off in seven years, I chose the latter. It's a fixed rate with fixed payments, and it means I will actually have more spending money than I do now. Plus I will obviously continue to get pay increases within the next seven years, so my income will still increase. I'm obviously not a person who knows how to handle credit wisely, so I sure as shit will become Mr. Frugal for the next seven years so as not to land myself in this mess again.

I'll be 46 when the loan is finally paid off, about 11 years from my targeted retirement date. Probably not going to hold out for any fabulous trips before then, but I'm not ruling anything out. It was so wonderful to see all those balances drop to $0... and next, my available credit limits will probably drop, too, since I won't be using most of the cards all that often.

In any event, I feel okay with the decision, and feel like the slate has been swept clean. No more shopping sprees, not that I should ever have had them in the first place.I just want clean lines and surfaces, darling!