Cocktail-free February™: Day 14

The gym Valentine's Day evening is perhaps one of the saddest things ever. And I got to be a part of it!

There were legit only about six people there, and I'm not even exaggerating. One guy was even a hottie, but his piece was probably out of town or something, and they'll be celebrating this weekend.

My feeling about Valentine's Day is that it's a time to celebrate the fact that we can love, even if we don't have a particular romantic love in our life at the time. I stick to that, and still hold true to it, even if I may be a bit less enthusiastic about the message nowadays. Forty is only eight months away. I'm not actively looking for anyone even though we are in the age of The Grindr and Tinder. And, perhaps the biggest sore spot, I'm not shockingly Instagram attractive enough to have them falling at my feet.

But neither are most people. And they still hook up. I would just rather it be someone who's the full package, probably even quite a bit better looking than myself, if I'm honest, even though in all honesty, the swath of types I find attractive runs pretty broad.

If it's not meant to be, and I go the way of Tim Gunn being celibate into my sixties, so be it, sister. If the homosex does in fact turn out to be a grievous sin, maybe I'll be spared hell. Ha!

Part of the lack of man-love has to do with my pad. Now, I love my little apartment to pieces. This is true. But it's sort of like my own little rabbit den with my things crowded hither and yon, with a only a bachelor-level semblance of clean. To this end, I hopped onto Amazon the other night and bought myself a new entertainment system, a new vanity, and a new shower curtain, along with some new casual threads. It all ran me only about $100, and the new furniture is a vastly needed update to the dilapidated desk holding up my TV and shredded laundry hamper substituting as my vanity.

We are half way through C-fF. And I had a chocolate chip cookie today.

You know where this is going.

I'm just floored at how there seems to be no noticeable impact. I'm due to get my blood pressure checked, so maybe I'll go tomorrow and see if it's gone down. I was hoping I might start to feel my pants sag, which is a sign that my vodka gut is shrinking, but life is not so kind.